heart will travel

27th December 2010

Post with 5 notes

the limin(al) between xmas and new year.. last and next.

“I’ve often lost myself, in order to find the burn that keeps everything awake”  - Lorca

I have lost myself, again.  I haven’t had a lot to say of late, I don’t know if it’s the time of year.. everything is in flux, on hiatus, not quite anywhere..   I’ve been feeling bits and pieces but nothing profound, nothing worth speaking of..  I am just existing.  I am waiting to make something new and beautiful and harrowing and broken and joyful and angry and lustful and smiley and seductive and violent and tender and sensual and loving and life-changing (for me if no one else)..  but I am treading water until that time begins. It is getting close.. I can feel that bloody, passionate, relentless energy building beneath my skin.

I’m reading Lorca at the moment again, and for those of you who read this thing regularly will recall me speaking about a show I wanted to do about Lorca and Dali..

(photo below that didn’t show up in the last blog properly Dali on the left, Lorca in the middle and Bello)

“If I told you the whole story it would never end…What’s happened to me has happened to a thousand woman.”  - Lorca

I didn’t end up doing that show in the states but I’m thinking about it more and more for here.. This is some of my stimulus material..  I suspect it will be an investigation into duende, love, forbidden passion, fear, death as well as a theatrical mash up between Lorca’s romantic spanish tragedy and the effect of Dali’s surrealism upon it.  We are still in early stages.  (by we I mean me)

“But hurry, let’s entwine ourselves as one, our mouth broken, our soul bitten by love, so time discovers us safely destroyed.”  - Lorca

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic. - Dali

“The artist, and particularly the poet, is always an anarchist in the best sense of the word. He must heed only the call that arises within him from three strong voices: the voice of death, with all its foreboding, the voice of love and the voice of art.”  

-Lorca

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In this in in-between-state that I have been floating in.. I’ve taken stock of the great year behind me and the immense potential in front of me.. I remind myself in writing this all down that the only limitation I have is me.  I can do whatever I want.  We as people are free to change, free to grow, free to not, free to love, free to fall..  the living isn’t in the freedom though, it’s in the pushing for it, at it, into, it.

These images are inspiring something in me at the moment (my palette suddenly so colourful, and clearly inspired the Janos Vs Wonderland video without me even realising)

other tangents (read another shows/projects/dreams/fantasies) :

“I was a hero”

“it’s all dust”

“the stars you see long dead”

“the future/ angels in the electric chair/the prophesy of youth”

I hope this seemingly eclectic mishmash of words and images inspires something in you too.  Thank you for you.

I wish you all a brave entry into the new year.  Kick it in the shin.

S.

x.

ps, I love you, most likely. 

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